how come they call it goodbye...

40 days. It's been 40 days and it still feels like just yesterday when everything was still at ease in the house. Where things were still the same as they were before instead of how they are now. I'm sitting here, dying to have everything the way it was before He took you with him. I miss when Ate and I would barge into your room at two in the morning just to tease you. Haha, I miss the way you would get annoyed at us but secretly enjoy we were bugging you. It still feels like you're gonna walk through the doors of Ate's house and all will be complete again; Nanay, Mom, Mommy Lira, Auntie Inie, Ate, Larissa and I would finally feel whole again. I still think that I'm going to see your face and hear your voice every weekend we have a get together like I used to. I'm still hoping that this is all a bad dream and I'll wake up tomorrow and you'll be here all up on our faces telling us the lastest dish. I'm still wishing that you weren't really up there with Him because we're all yearning for you down here. Everyday, I'm praying with everything I have left in me that you're up there with Him, watching over us while you finally let Him watch over you.

As bad or as emo as that sounds, or this sounds, you're all I think about every minute of the day. There's not a day that goes by where you don't cross my mind and as much as all of us are all broken-hearted, we're all taking it in day by day. I never knew it'd be as hard as it has been or how it's been. I question sometimes why He had to take you from us so soon or at least why he didn't give each of us a chance to say Good bye to you... But then I think about it and I know that you're in a better place as much as I'd rather have you here with us. Oh Auntie L, you helped sculpt me into the person I was yesterday, who I am today, and who I want to be tomorrow and the rest the up coming days of the future. I have a real mother to start with, 3 beautiful Aunties whom helped raise me like their own, and now a Guardian Angel to guide me.

It's true when they tell you, "you only realize what you had when it's gone". It's like a slap in the face but life goes on. and no matter what Auntie L, I'm going to take you with me. I'm going to take you with me when I finally graduate from school to be a Nurse. I'm going to take you with me when I exchange goldrings at the alter. I'm going to take you with me when I make those bajillion babies you asked from me. I'm going to take you with me when they grow up and leave me behind. I'm going to take you with me 'til the last day I have on Earth. I take you with me everywhere I go but until I get to see you again; Until you greet me at the gates of Paradise...

I miss you everyday. I love you until forever ends. I know you're in safe hands. I can't wait to see you on the other side.

Rest in Peace Auntie L.